State of the Union

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, not only my first post on this weird internet "blog" thing, but also, gosh-darn it, the future President of the United States:

Maverick McCain, and well, me, Sarah Palin.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Really.

First of all, I'd like to start by giving a shout-out to the 3rd-Graders at Gladys Elementary School, you are all getting extra credit for watching the debate last night.  Shout Out, Folks.

On a more serious note, my head official intern just informed me, about an hour ago, that we are in dire straits. Dire. Straits. But, do you really think that two Mavericks like McCain and me, are gonna let this continue?  No, folks. And lemme tell ya what I'm gonna do about it.  I'm gonna rein in that government spending.  That's right. And, ya know, through that, through the, that bailout, we're gonna find ourselves right back where we used to be not so long ago.  Under that umbrella of job creation, we're gonna create a lot of, of jobs, and we're gonna help people, so that they don't have to worry about buying their kids their Happy Meal.  They'll even be able to get 'em a McFlurry for dessert.  And we're gonna fight those terror-loving terrorists, who are so hell-bent on destroying us.  We're gonna get them Pakistanis and Iraqis and Iroquois, believe you me.  We have job creation thats gonna help those people who are, ultimately, the ones being hurt by this economic disaster, which ya know, I am just ill over.  Ill.  But I tell ya, lemme in there, I'll rearrange some things and we'll be back on board with that Bush Doctrine, in which I so firmly beli... 

...Also, I talked to Joe Six-Pack last night, before the debate, and he was a little skeptical as to whether or not I could handle Senator Biden.  And I said, "Well, Joe," Joe Six-Pack, not Biden, I said, "Well Joe, I completely respect you for bein' so honest with me. Because that's what I'm always gonna be with you."  So. I said, "You don't have to have confidence in me.  After all, I am just your regular old gal from Alaska.  Why should you believe that I, mayor of the Bridge to Nowhere and Governor of the State from Nowhere, could be the next VP?"

Lemme tell ya somethin' pretty amazin', folks.  I got a call this mornin'.  That's right.  Woke me up, 10 AM.  I had given Joe my cell number after we talked, just in case he ever wanted to make right any blunders.  And did he ever.  Because, folks, if the debate last night proved anything, it proved that I am not only ready, but WILLING and ABLE, to be the next President of this wonderful country of which I am so honored to be a part.  And Joe, well, he said just that. 

In closing, lemme just say one more thing.  The next Vice President doesn't need to be the person who knows all the supreme court rulings over the country's history.  It doesn't need to be the person with any kind of political or executive experience to speak of.  I mean, what's a Vice President gotta do, anyway?  The next VP needs to be someone who shows willingness. And ableness.  And the person who gets up every mornin', just like you, and wonders things like, how am I going to afford that manicure today?  Am I gonna have to postpone my whale-hunting trip this weekend?  Will my pregnant daughter be able to afford that Happy Meal for her baby?  

If you haven't guessed it already, folks, that person I'm speaking of is, well, me.  I'm that person who gets outta bed every mornin'.  Just like you.  I am, the Honorable Governor of That Honorable Shining State on A Hill That I Like to Call Alaska.  And I will soon be the Honorable Vice President of That Honorable Country in Which Alaska Resides.

I am, Ladies and Gentlemen, Sarah Palin.

Good night, folks, God Bless, and thank you!!!