Help, Doctor!

I was recently taken aback by a contract I was forced to sign to further my quest into the indiscernible abyss of academia.  I like to laugh.  I signed up for a class called "Comedy".  However, the moment I walked into the stuffy classroom, I knew what wasn't in the air.  Humor.  And I soon found out what was never to be in the air.  Perfume and other such sundries.  

I am writing to you because I am deeply concerned about the mental and physical condition of Professor Susan Jonas.  Please, Doctor, read the following words I have extracted from the said contract, and let me know what you can do to help.  Your words have been so comforting in the past.  

*Excerpt*

IF YOU WANT TO ATTEND THIS CLASS , IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU AGREE NOT TO WEAR PERFUME, COLOGNE, SCENTED OIL, SCENTED MOISTURIZER, OR USE HIGHLY SCENTED SOAP, CLOTHING DETERGENT OR DRYER SHEETS, NAIL POLISH OR HOUSEHOLD CLEANING PRODUCTS BEFORE CLASS. 

I have "Chemical Sensitivity" or "environmental Illness" cause by sustained exposure to chemicals after construction, and making me hypersensitive and intolerant of many common chemicals.  Even brief exposure can lead to: dizziness, difficulty breathing, blurred vision, nausea, fainting or migraines lasting days.  If you forget and come to class wearing a product, please tell someone in the class about your absent self and do not enter the classroom.  IF I DISCERN SCENT, I MUST ASK YOU TO LEAVE.  If I have a reaction, I will have to cancel class. 

If you have a disability, please be sure to consult with me so that we can arrange for accommodations. 

I have read and understand the description of Dr. Jonas' condition, and understand that it could put her at serious medical risk were I to wear one of the before mentioned products.  I will inform Dr. Jonas and absent myself from class should I realize I am unable to rid myself of a potentially harmful element.  I will make every effort to comply.  

*End of Excerpt*

One thing is for sure.  This is no laughing matter, ironic as that may seem.  Can you help us, Doctor?

Sincerely Yours, 

Concerned Student of "Chemically Sensitive" Comedy Professor (who shall not be named).