A Catered Affair (hopefully)...

As many of you may know, I cater to bring in the extra monies.  As you also may know, I hate it.  I think it is a soul-stealing job made for people without personality or self-worth, both of which I have an abundance of.  The only positive thing about my (lame) "job" is that lots of money goes into my bank account a week and a half after I work a shift.  But lately, they haven't been handing out the jobs too liberally.  So when I was called today and asked to work on Saturday, I thought, "I better take advantage of this".  Now, I have noticed that the automated man who tells me my assignments is always WRONG.  He tells me my shift will be over usually an hour or two before it really is.  Do you know how hard it is to stand with one arm tucked neatly behind your back for roughly 8 hours at a time?  Never getting to sit down? 

Well.  For some reason that I cannot presently identify, I just volunteered to work a shift from 2 o'clock on Saturday until "midnight".  Which really means 2am Sunday morning.  I offered to work for twelve straight hours.  Fortunately (and maybe this is the reason I agreed), the event is in Westcester and is PPX (code for VIP--secret service and shit).  All I have to say is this bitch better be FAMOUS.  I mean.  Martha Stewart or Ina Garten famous.  I am hoping to make connections and get hired so I can quit my current job and get the devil to give me my soul back.  

Wish me luck, companions.  I may not come out of this one alive.  I hope you have a WONDERFUL weekend.  If you get some free time, just stand up at attention for an hour or two and maybe then you can empathize with my misfortune. 

Sincerely, 

Second butler on the left