I'm so bored and boring I can't even think of a title

Pee-pee people? Parking tickets? Being Amy Coenen? You guys kill me! Write more and write quickly. I need something else to do besides the dishes.

Have I anything to share? I read a lot. Actually, I've read 10 books since summer. Now on my eleventh. It's called Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle? Have you heard of it?

I noticed that the neighbors are repairing their garage? They are. I think they're building some storage units along the walls and in the rafters. Good for them for being organized. But the woman is a little off - she slobbers, too - and her husband has had his hips replaced twice already. That's bad. He drives a corvette because he's going through a mid-life crisis, which is totally understandable if you've had your hips replaced twice before age 40.

The other neighbors aren't really doing much – at least nothing I can see. I spy out the windows before going to get the mail each day. I do that to avoid any awkward run-ins, and also to create the illusion that I don't actually live here. You may think that's crazy, but a few months ago I was accosted on the way to my car with a yell from across the street. Usually cool as a cucumber, I just lost it. I told the nosy neighbor that I was looking for work in NYC and when he asked what type, I said something about babysitting and tutoring and haha, it's a living! What? It's a living? I've never sat anyone's babies.

What I wanted to say was BACK OFF, TITANIUM TITS - he's the one with the hip replacements. They're probably made of titanium.

Titanium... Unobtanium - Have you guys seen Avatar?

Avatar... Tattoo Bar - Did you know that I have a tattoo? Well, I don't. I do have a picture of the design I want, and that means I may get it soon enough, so don't bullshit me, okay?

Okay... Today - Today, I bored my friends by sharing this post.

Good riddance.